We are Looking back to Look Forward

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One of my favourite quotes is “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life”.

2018 is in the books! And what a year it was.

Three to Abandon saw a lot of change in 2018 and we're super grateful for everything that happened and for everyone that was a part of our story.

Here's a quick recap of some of the big news from the year and a look into what's coming in 2019.

As the saying goes- “Only look back to see how far you’ve come.”

The Abandon Experience

Purpose’s discovered, lives changed, hurts healed, and dreams dreamed. Our community kept growing in 2018 as people drove and flew in from multiple states with everyone staying at the biggest Airbnb we could find. The Abandon experience was filled with family dinners, sitting around the fire and activities around the city. Hearts spilled, challenges were given and accountability was found.

The Abandon Reunion

In spring of 2018 we had our SECOND reunion trip. Anyone who had previously attended an Abandon Experience was invited back for four days to reconnect, meet fellow experiencers and recommit to their goals and dreams. We looked at the masks we all wear, evaluated why, and then spent time shedding those personas. Many laughs, tears, practical jokes and a few masks creations were shared. God was and is moving big ways and we are excited to see just what these dreams he gave us play out do!

Leadership Change

Ohhh baby. The founder of Three to Abandon, Jenny became a new momma this fall! With the arrival of her new babe, she handed the leadership reigns over to Jaden and Becki. August marked the beginning of a new season as we said goodbye to the original dreamer and planner behind Three to Abandon., of which we are forever grateful for her faithfulness in doing the dream had given her! As the new Core Visionary Team came in, Jaden and Becki hosted a dream weekend in Indianapolis this past fall, with past Three Members flying and driving in from around the U.S. and Canada.. We prayed, planned, and dreamed, and are VERY excited for what the future holds for Three to Abandon as a whole! Stay tuned as those dreams take shape!

2019

The Abandon Experiences are planned and applications are flooding in! We will see them taking shape in places like Florida, Maine and Colorado to name a few! New for 2019 is the first ever Abandon Experience for those aged 40+. After almost 4 years of strictly reaching millennials, we’ve listened to your feedback and are launching our first ever Abandon Experience not just for millennials! Finding your purpose doesn’t have an age limit, so we figured we shouldn’t either!

Life experiences, roles, jobs, family and direction may be changing for you, and we believe God intended us to live each season fully and alive. We want your next 50 years to be Lived on Purpose. So what are you waiting for? Apply. It might just be the thing you’ve been needing.

In the meantime, we’re going to be participating in tons of activities around Austin and supporting some of our rad friends who are making an impact in the city so definitely keep your ear to the streets and come hang out if you’re in the city.

Thank you so much for being part of the Three to Abandon family!

So we can’t wait for what 2019 holds, because we don’t want to live the same year 75 times and call it a life.

-The Three to Abandon Family

My Oklahoma State Response to Westboro Baptist Church

On Oct 24 a terrible tragedy happened to my "extended" family at Oklahoma State University. Everyone knows the story by now. Many have mourned. Many are still mourning. My very own best friend escaped the crash by the grace of God and is still wrestling with emotions and thoughts she can't explain. Sometimes it's hard to keep the faith. Where was God in all this? What was His purpose? Or how do accidents and tragedies fit in His purpose? Some of those questions are hard to answer, because it's part of a bigger picture we can't comprehend. We don't have the knowledge or perspective in order to understand. In the meantime, that's what community is for: to support, to speak truth when nothing makes sense, to love. That's what Oklahoma State has done so far, among many others, including our in-state "rivalry" Oklahoma University. (Way to go guys!) We thank everyone for the prayers and support.

I don't have all the answers, but I'd like to continue the overwhelming support for my OSU family by completely slaying the misguided theology and tactics of Westboro Baptist Church. Their insensitive tweets on Saturday were enough to make me want to write this, but then I heard they were going to picket the victims. They have the freedom to do what they will, but I think today it's time for a bible lesson straight from an OSU alum. Ready to study-up, Westboro? Here are the verses you SHOULD be referencing... 

1. Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn." (The entirety of Romans 12 is applicable actually.)
2. Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with malice."
3. Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
4. James 4:11-12 "Do not speak evil against one another....But who are you to judge your neighbor?"
5. James 1:26 "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."
6. Colossians 3:8 "But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth."
7. Luke 6:31 "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you."
8. Luke 23:34 "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they do." 
   • *I forgive you, Westboro*

Not that we need any more evidence, but one of my favorite things about Jesus is He often got most passionate when confronting religious leaders about their hypocrisy. He wasn't passionately confronting men or women about their sexual orientation or experiences. He wasn't passionately confronting addicts or thieves. But He did passionately confront those who did not practice what they made a living of preaching. So because you consider yourself religious leaders, being a "church," you may also want to reference Matthew 23 *Jesus gets passionate about hypocrites*, and John 8 *Jesus shows religious leaders they should not condemn others, no matter their circumstances*. 

At all times we should strive to exhibit Faith Hope and Love, and "the greatest of these is love." That's what the Oklahoma State family does. That's what true Christian family does. (1 Cor. 13) 

Because your church is so keen on being "honest" I'm here to tell you, with love and truth, that you have a very warped view of Christianity.

You will never, ever, change someone's heart by telling them they are hated. You will never, ever, show them who the real Jesus is by calling them derogatory names. You will never, ever, be effective in your communication if you harass others, especially when they are in mourning.

There are so many more verses and so many good people that are the example of what you should be spending your time on instead of picketing or using social media to hate others. But I can promise you one thing, if you choose to picket any victims of the Oklahoma State incident including the students themselves, my families will be there. We will gladly show you what true love looks like. That's Oklahoma State. That's real Christianity.

 - J Fleming

Founder Three to Abandon, Christ lover, Christ Follower, Proud and Thankful Oklahoma State Alumna

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Syrian Refugees: I'm Sorry, We Have a "Not Right Now" Problem

Refugees - I'm sorry.

I'm sitting here drinking my hot cup of tea, bundled up in a $40 sweater, typing on my more than $1K mac. I'm reading about your torture and I'm angry. But in the moment I'm comfortable.

While you suffer, I'm eating dinner. While you drown, I'm brushing my teeth. While you wander across land that's not yours, it's just a brand new day for me in the same old routine.

I like having this comfort too much. I like my life...

I'm sorry.

I'm angry that no one wants to take responsibility for your safety or basic human needs. But I've got to tell you that our response, or lack there of, is all because of this problem that we have - it's a not right now problem.

All of you other countries around the world - take these people in! But us, not right now. You guys please find God, He's the answer! But we can't show Him to you, not right now. You will get help in due time when it really matters! But not right now, because we're not even sure what "when it really matters" looks like.

I'm sorry.

I'm a Christian and I'm supposed to be carrying the torch on what freedom and fearlessness really looks like, but not right now. You see my Governor he says he's a Christian too, but he's too scared to let you in. He could be a huge contributor to forming some sort of strategy to bring refugees in and still protect our nation, even if it is a smaller select number, but not right now. He, we, could remember that Christ cares more about reaching out to the hurting more than he does being safe, but not right now. My governor may still be super busy worrying about our own morality right now, so no time to save people. Not right now.

Refugees - I'm sorry.

But it's time to be honest. Sorry isn't good enough. And our fake love isn't good enough. Distant "love" doesn't keep you fed or safe. Our "praying for you" promises might be little lies. It is - for lack of better words, and for the sake of being blunt - lazy, selfish, cowardly bull. It is thumb-twiddling, acting busy, seemingly apologetic, crap. I can see Jesus flipping another table right now.

We are the next pharisees. 

I'm so tired of Americans and Christians alike being a "not right now" people. What we're doing right now is hiding. Behind our screens, behind our style, behind our jobs, behind our lifestyle, behind our obligations and appointments. We placed this all on ourselves. You, refugees, have nothing to do with this fear, deep shame, and doubt that lives in us. We fan that flame daily and we think we love it.

Brothers and sisters, it's time to wake up and not fear death. Or even more shockingly, it's time to wake up and not fear much smaller things: sharing your home, sharing your money, sharing your food, sharing your clothes, sharing His word. Is the only thing you're actually doing right now is focusing on hoarding those small things you clearly cherish more than Jesus? For those who aren't Christian, do you cherish these frivolous things more than love and simple humanity? 

There is never an option for "not right now." There is no such thing. Time moves. God moves. People move. A people in need is moving toward you RIGHT NOW. They can't even plead their case with you because they don't have time to make their argument when they're drowning, starving, dying, weeping, suffering.

Americans, Christians - 

Don't read this and feel more shame or guilt - feel awakened and ready. Don't get suggestions on how to help and stay seated - rise up and choose to do one of them. Don't read this and push it off to "not right now" - share it and DO.

1.  Click here to see practical ways to help.
2.  Click here to have the opportunity to serve refugees and lose that fear, that insecurity and doubt.

I'm sorry, refugees, that it took us so long. But a few good people are ready right now. 

I hope you see this apology, refugees. I hope it spreads like wildfire.

- J

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